Back in the present, Pornstache taunts Red and spits on her. She doesn't do anything, but she will. I just know it. Caputo goes to Figueroa and tells hims Pornstache impregnated Daya. She says she's going to keep him at the prison until she can figure out how to frame this. Caputo says he will keep it under wraps as long as he's the one who gets to fire him. Figs agrees. Healy has another session with Chris. He says his wife is a mail-order bride and gets annoyed when he thinks Chris passes judgment. Yeeeeah, anyone who would hear that would pass judgment on that as if their name was Judge Joe Brown, so #CalmDown.
Back at the prison, the black-girl crew is working. Poussey confronts Taystee and is upset that the girls are selling drugs. Just then, a sweep goes down. Gina sees Nicky hide the heroin in her bra, and the guards find Watson's stash of ciggies. She gets taken to the SHU, and Vee avoids eye contact with her. Trifling. Meanwhile, Pornstache is in Daya's cube. He thinks she likes him because he found the card he mailed to her. And you know what? Why does she still have it? He's gross. If I were her, I would've thrown that out with all the products she uses in the kitchen.
Following the sweep, all the COs notice that everything they confiscated smell a little bit like butt, so they decide that they're going to have to start probing during the rectal exams:
Thankfully, the other COs remind Bell that probing is illegal, but she has her mind set on catching someone.
Gina bothers Nicky about the heroin, but Nicky denies having any. Healy continues his counseling sessions with Pennsatucky by using the same techniques that Chris uses on him. He then tells Pennsa that he wants to start a support group at the prison; she doesn't think it will succeed unless the inmates are giving an incentive, but she agrees to help out.
Poussey calls Vee out for not doing anything about Watson, and Vee brushes that off and tells her to get her ass in line and start selling drugs at the library or request a transfer. Poussey says she ain't going nowhere. OK, I hope that works out for ya, Pouss!
Figueroa and Caputo question Daya about Pornstache. Figueroa asks Caputo to leave, so they can have girl talk. Daya admits that she flirted with Pornstache and that it wasn't rape. Still, looks like Pornstache is out of a job.
Meanwhile, visits are going down. We see Sophia with her ex-wife and son, Mike. He's silent, but eventually warms up during a card game. Pipes tells Andrew her findings about the prison, which isn't much. As he exits, Figueroa asks him what he's doing there. He says he was there visiting Pipes. Gina continues to keep a watchful eye on Nicky, who's hanging out with Morello. Morello is summoned because she has a visitor. When she leaves, Gina tells Nicky to give the drugs to Red. Morello enters the visitor's room: It's Christopher. He says the cops don't believe him, but he knows she broke into his house. She denies it, and he threatens to kill her. He freaks out and causes a scene. He's escorted out, and Morello starts crying. Nicky goes to her, and Morello admits she broke into his house. Nicky tells her she loves her and they hug. Aww, but also Nicky better be careful that Morello doesn't turn crazy on her.
