Introduction: Master your demons with five simple tools.

Isn’t it frustrating when you finally get around to that nagging home repair, only to find out you don’t have the correct screwdriver?It’s even more troubling when you are unequipped to navigate bigger challenges in life, such as grief, difficult relationships, and professional setbacks, to name just a few. You may seek help in therapy to get to the root of the problem, yet still walk away frustrated without any actionable steps to effect immediate change. That’s because so much of traditional talk therapy leaves us just that: unequipped.

In this summary to Phil Stutz and Barry Michels’s The Tools, you’ll receive an actionable toolkit to tackle any part of your life that needs repair: including pushing through pain points to achieve goals, managing difficult interactions with people, using your insecurities to your benefit, appreciating what you have, and finding the motivation to keep doing the work.

Each of The Tools are quick mental exercises you can use in the everyday. Just like literal tools, it’s completely on you to choose the best one for the job and do the work. The best part is that all can be put into action right away. You’re still on your own with the DIY home repairs, but there’s plenty on YouTube for that!

Tool #1: Welcoming Adversity

What’s on your immediate must-do list that fills you with dread or even fear? Is there anything you’ve been putting off for longer?

While it’s human nature to avoid what we don’t like, uncomfortable and even painful situations are inevitable. In most cases, the challenges themselves aren’t what hold people back from achieving their greatest potential; it’s the avoidance of taking the next step to unlock the possibilities.

The first tool helps you not only power through tough situations but learn to use them to your benefit. We are not talking about just accepting adversity, but actually being glad to see it when it inevitably appears. It sounds bizarre, but it’s a powerful way to reframe the role difficulty has in your life.

Here’s the exercise: First, visualize the emotion surrounding the task or situation. The emotion may be fear of a difficult conversation going badly. Perhaps it’s the humiliation if you slip up while giving a speech. It may be a less rational emotion, such as having a fear of flying despite statistics showing air travel is much safer than driving.

Whatever the pain is, give it a visual in your mind, and ask it to envelop you. As it does, accept it eagerly with the belief it will bring something good. Focus your mind on that good as you move yourself through and out, thanking the pain as you go for what’s on the other side.

Regardless of the outcome, you’ll gain power in overcoming the mental block, which is a win in itself. That satisfaction will encourage you to use the tool again and again to the point where you will naturally welcome pain points. Meanwhile, you are moving forward, which is the force that drives life itself.

Using this tool also builds your capacity for commitment, which is essential for making meaningful, long-term changes. Take the authors’ example of a beat cop who had initially pursued his talent for writing in college, only to drop out. Storytelling remained his passion, as evidenced by his ability to keep listeners engaged in tales he shared at the bar after work. However, he had an aversion to the extra focus needed to commit those stories to writing. Using the tool to overcome his uncomfortable feelings about concentration, he finally reignited his writing ability and pursued the career he’d always wanted.

While this tool helps overcome daunting situations, the next will help with difficult people.