By Lindsey Grace
“She’s still with that guy? But he is such a jerk.” We all have that one friend. The friend that will not break up with her loser boyfriend. He treats her like crap, he cheats on her, but our friend remains loyal.
We secretly all judge her, roll our eyes, and tell ourselves we would never put up with a guy who treats us that way.
Believe me, I have always been that judging friend. I have been the woman who doesn’t take crap from anybody.
I am a very understanding person, but I simply could not understand why women let themselves be toyed with by boys.
Until one day it happened to me: I met a boy, I fell in love, and he ended up being not very nice to me.
For all those women who say it will never happen to them, I wanted to share my story to give you some insight so that maybe you can understand how it happens without you even knowing.
For me, it was love at first sight. I saw him and I was head over heels. He was on my brother’s football team.
We talked the whole night about everything: movies, school, sports, and our favorite NFL team, the 49ers. Before the night had ended, we even kissed. He drove me home the next morning, and well, the rest is history.
It was the best relationship I have ever been in. He was kind and caring, a great listener, and always tried to help me out by being my personal problem-solver. If I ever needed someone to talk to, there he was by my side.
I felt taken care of, I felt loved. For the first time in my life, I told someone I loved them and I meant it.
For the first few months of our relationship, everything was good and I had no complaints. I remember having to pinch myself and not believing it was real. I was never mad at him and we never got into fights like I had heard my friends rant about in their relationships.
We would explore as much as possible, but didn’t mind just hanging out and talking here and there. It was perfect, and there was no doubt that I was in love.
But when I graduated things started to change. I came home to Portland and he started acting and treating me differently. He was pushing me away, and becoming more distant.
At first I couldn’t believe it and I made excuses. I told myself it was not a big deal... until he stopped putting any effort into our relationship.
He would still call me during the day which I loved, but there was no more romance and no more spark. All he wanted to do was stay on the couch and watch Netflix or play video games.
Our once fun-filled Saturdays became "I’m going to sit on the couch, eat and watch football all day."
So why did I keep putting in effort when it was so obvious he did not care? I think it was simply because I loved him. I loved him so much I could still see the old him deep down. I knew — well, I hoped — that somewhere he was there. Hoping one day he would be present again.
Because what was my alternative? I wasn’t independent anymore, and the strong person I used to be was hidden somewhere; I couldn’t find her anymore.
For him, he knew it was expiration dating. He knew that I would be leaving soon for Austin. New Year’s Eve, we got into a big fight. I woke up to find texts from another girl on his phone. As it turns out, he had been texting another girl our entire relationship.
He had been cheating on me. He swore to me it never got physical, but I had proof otherwise. But I stayed. I stayed with his flaws, every last one of them. I told myself he was telling the truth.
He was my drug, and like all addictions the instant satisfaction slowly killed me in the end.
