People doing contempt think that they are expressing emotions—but they aren't. They are certainly feeling emotions, but contempt is expressing (negative) judgments, which your partner will resent. So the key antidote to contempt is expressing your feelings and longings—and expressing them well.

What triggers contempt?

Contempt is fueled by long-simmering negative thoughts about one's partner, and it arises in the form of an attack on someone's sense of self. Inevitably, contempt leads to more conflict—particularly dangerous and destructive forms of conflict—rather than to reconciliation.

What is a contemptuous person?

If you insult someone or dismiss them in a hateful way, you're being contemptuous. The difference between being hateful and contemptuous is subtle. It involves disdain. Being contemptuous of someone or something means that you're combining a deep dislike for them with condescension.