A server puts portions on plates (often at self-service restaurants) while waiters and waitresses take plates to the tables. “Waitress/waiter” is gender specific, while “server” is neutral, and therefore more politically correct.

What is the difference between a waitress and a server?

As nouns the difference between waitress and server

is that waitress is a female attendant who serves customers in a restaurant, , or similar while server is one who serves; a waitress or waiter.

Is a waitress a server?

However, in a private restaurant, (formal or informal) unless someone introduces themselves as "your server", it is still proper to say "Waiter," "Waitress," or "Bus boy/girl". "Captain" and "Maitre d'" are unchanged for male and female.