They do apologize—but those apologies are conditional.

He's simply manipulating you into feeling seen by acknowledging your feelings. Gaslighters will only apologize if they are trying to get something out of you.

What is a gaslight apology?

Adding “if” subtly questions whether the other person was actually hurt, creating an opening for the offender to let themself off the hook if there's a possibility that it didn't actually happen. This invalidates the other person by drawing into question their experience of their emotions and is called “gaslighting.”

Do gaslighters realize what they are doing?

Gaslighting lies on a spectrum. Some gaslighters don't know they're gaslighting and are largely unaware of how their behavior is affecting the other person. But some gaslighters are very well aware of what they are doing, and it is done with intention and without remorse.