Do it in person and pick a time when the mood is calm without any distractions. Try to anticipate her response and tell her that you have compassion for her and the things that led up to how she parented you. Let her know that it's time for you to work on your healing.

Is it OK to dislike your mother?

It's completely normal, and expected really, to despise your parents when they've abused or abandoned you. Or even if they've never laid a hand on you but held you to unrealistic expectations or forced you to live a life you don't desire.

Why am I hating my mother?

Most commonly, hatred toward your mother is your mental way of shielding yourself from further despair. While you may carry some guilt surrounding this, it is natural to experience these feelings, and there is nothing wrong with you for having them. The first step to moving past these feelings is understanding them.